Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Robert Burns portrait on sale

A RARE portrait miniature of Scottish poet Robert Burns, which comes with a lock of his hair, was set to be sold at auction today.
The tiny gold-framed miniature, which measures only 5.5cm high, has been passed down through the Burns family and is engraved with the name 'Robert Burns'.
It was expected to fetch up to £700 at Bonhams auctioneers in Knightsbridge, London.
Very few images of the poet are known to exist, with the most famous, by Alexander Nasmyth in 1787, hanging in Edinburgh's Scottish National Portrait Gallery.
Camilla Seymour, head of portrait miniatures at Bonhams, said: "The individual features in the miniature are not dissimilar from those in the Nasmyth portrait, making the identification of the sitter plausible when the provenance is also taken into account."

Monday, May 28, 2007

Amazed Amish

An Amish boy and his father were in a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then slide back together again. The boy asked, "What is this Father?" The father, never having seen an elevator, responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is." While the boy and his father were watching with amazement, a fat old lady in a wheel chair moved up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small circular numbers above the walls light up sequentially. They continued to watch until it reached the last number and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order. Finally the walls opened up again and a gorgeous 24-year-old blonde stepped out. The father, not taking his eyes off the young woman, said quietly to his son, "Go get your mother."

Sunday, May 27, 2007

In memory

I salute you

Memorial Day

Memorial Day is for remembering the courageous who gave their all for this country. They believed in this country and our way of life and were willing to defend it at all cost. They walked the walk, not just talked the talk. That's a true hero.

Saturday, May 26, 2007

Allah or Jesus?

The Muslim religion is the fastest growing religion per capita in the United States , especially in the minority races!!! This is a article by Rick Mathis , a leading prison minister in the US. " Last month I attended my annual training session that's required for maintaining my state prison security clearance. During the training session there was a presentation by three speakers representing the Roman Catholic, Protestant and Muslim faiths, who explained each of their beliefs.I was particularly interested in what the Islamic Imam had to say. The Imam gave a great presentation of the basics of Islam, complete with a video.After the presentations, time was provided for questions and answers.When it was my turn, I directed my question to the Imam and asked: "Please, correct me if I'm wrong, but I understand that most Imams and clerics of Islam have declared a holy jihad [Holy war] against the infidels of the world and, that by killing an infidel, (which is a command to all Muslims) they are assured of a place in heaven. If that's the case, can you give me the definition of an infidel?"There was no disagreement with my statements and, without hesitation, he replied, "Non-believers! "I responded, "So, let me make sure I have this straight. All follower! s of All ah have been commanded to kill everyone who is not of your faith so they can have a place in heaven. Is that correct?"The expression on his face changed from one of authority and command to that of "a little boy who had just been caught with his hand in the cookie jar."He sheepishly replied, "Yes."I then stated, "Well, sir, I have a real problem trying to imagine Pope John Paul commanding all Catholics to kill those of your faith or Dr. Stanley ordering all Protestants to do the same in order to guarantee them a place in heaven!"The Imam was speechless!I continued, "I also have problem with being your 'friend' when you and your brother clerics are telling your followers to kill me! Let me ask you a question. Would you rather have your Allah, who tells you to kill me in order for you to go to heaven, or my Jesus who tells me to love you because I am going to heaven and He wants you to be there with me?"You could have heard a pin drop as the Imam hung his head in shame. "
Needless to say, the organizers and/or promoters of the 'Diversification' training seminar were Not happy with Rick's way of dealing with the Islamic Imam and exposing the truth about the Muslims' beliefs. In twenty years there will be enough Muslim voters in the U.S. to elect the President! I think everyone in the U.S . should be required to read this, but with the Liberal justice system, liberal media and the ACLU, there is no way this will be widely publicized.

Friday, May 25, 2007

Thinking tooo much

A lot of my blogs are light hearted and silly and mildly stupid- it helps to keep things in perspective. With the different bouts of cancer and leukemia and lung abscesses, I've done a lot of serious thinking about life and what I've done here in my time. I made my kids my life and I am happy with that choice. It has been very fulfilling and has given me much pleasure[and pain]. This worlds material possesions mean nothing at all. I am not vain enough to want the world to remember me, and I know I cant change the world, but I can be remembered by my family and all those around me and I can change their world for the better. The most beautiful feeling is the look of love from a child to its parent. It does not get any better. My legacy to this world is more nuts just like me. I've been fighting off another lung abcess again and it gets frustrating sometimes-I know eventually my lung will have to be removed-but you know what-I don't care! I might be the new bionic man of 2010. All these ailments have kept me in line and made me constantly think of what's important. And I have not slowed down working either. You couldn't break my faith in God with a sledge hammer. So think about what you might change if your time on earth is nearly over- and live life in that manner. And tell all your loved ones the things you haven't had time to-cause you might not ever get another chance. Loving words and gestures are timeless and priceless and are remembered forever.
Told you I think toooo much.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Route 66

Like many of the old/historical things of our past, Route 66 is disappearing from the map and minds of many. Most of the mom and pop hotels have long since gone under after the interstate was finished. Its a shame more cannot be done to preserve something that was so important and a vital part of the USA history. This highway symbolizes many of the things from our past, eg-typewriters, atari, family time at the dinner table......These and many more things helped fabricate what we are today. But they are gone by the wayside, making room for the new and improved things that help us live better and faster. YEA-POOPY!! This country has no moral fibre, no money , and people aren't near as happy as they were is past generations. You would think that all this new fangled stuff would be fantastic for us but it just seems to make us lazy and no happier than we were. In 1966 you could buy a special package ford fairlane that got 32 miles per gallon. At least half of the cars now barely do that-at least 50 years later! Peoples minds don't have to be as sharp as in the past because we rely on machines for much of what we do. I love the Internet, and my computer, but I try to live and instill in my kids the morals and the important ways and ideals of yesterday while living in the present. Sometimes its hard because the kids will say-"Dad-that don't make sense-that's not how things are done now!" So I have to tell them things aren't done correctly nowadays-allot of the time. Leaders don't set good examples, supposed heroes of the youth act despicable, religious leaders are scary for youth. SOOOO we try to be a close knit family with lots of each other time and personal one on one time. We try to be alert and read between the lines as leaders do their political dance and promise us the world, we stay strong and live life as it should be and it works so far. Many friends of mine worry about how much they make, but its never enough and they don't see that money isn't everything. Make enough to pay the bills-don't make too many extra bills to pay and you'll have more ease at making enough money and more enjoyable fun with family and friends enjoying what life throws at you. Have some old fashioned family fun time before your gone and forgotten like route 66.

Confucius say

Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.
Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
Crowded elevator smell different to midget

Monday, May 21, 2007


I wonder what would happen if all the citizens of the USA got together and told the governing body that we are not voting again until serious changes are made in the system and we demanded that the current governing body start making changes immediately. We should do away with political parties and just have individuals judged on their capabilities-not their party. The Washington DC political dingalings would no longer be allowed to do what they want-they would have to do what we want-the people-as it was back at the beginning of this wonderful country. The people running for government positions would be held accountable for their actions at all times. They would have to be a moral, behaving, respectfull person-male or female- with this countries welfare at heart......what a dream-huh!

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Boy-thank god proms over. Last night was prom night and I had 2 kids to worry about-till they got home. Glad its only once a year. The youngest one[8]couldn't understand why he couldn't go.

Did you know?

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S.Treasury
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better
Coca-Cola was originally green
It is impossible to lick your elbow
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get >this
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
99 percent of you tried to lick your elbow

Thursday, May 17, 2007

glorious spring afternoons

HEY THERE, you eclectic electronic browsers of info land- good evening!

Twas a glorious wonderful day in the beautiful south central area of Texas, where I call home. The weather was just down right pleasant, so when I got home I cut the grass, watered the grass[ sounds like an oxy-moron-or just plain ole moron] fed the kids, fed me, and then fed the critters that inhabit my house. Two kitties named lucky and seven, Leonardo the whirlwind weeny dog, TT the parakeet that never shuts up, Moby Dick the overgrown algae eater, 4 goldfish piranhas, and 2 minnows from the creek, 5 outside cats two! In the house-you learn to walk carefully so no animals are stepped on. tHEN I START to go[silly kitty walked on keyboard] back outside and just sit down and enjoy the rest of the cool evening just kickin back.............................................[dern kitty must be an internet freak-won't stay off keyboard]. As I sit on the garden bench enjoying the life I live, I hear the typical evening small town noises of mewing, meowing, chirping, splashing/plops , barking dog playing with cats, brothers and sisters hollaring I'm gonna tell daddy if you don't stop-I smile and remember-I'd be lost and unhappy without all this. So don't get too hung up on trials and tribulations, or your daily rut, and enjoy what is around you. So much entertainment and love and peacefullness can be had in your everyday little mundane things you do or see. So look and enjoy-be happy for a second-laughter is the best medicine.

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

The Drudge Report

Matt Drudge is under attack again by the some of the media outlets. They say he is a source for funneling incorrect info to the world. The government feeds him emails of whatever info they wish to "leak" and then gauge the response. They claim politicians feed rival bad info to demean their opponents. They claim he is a loose cannon that writes whatever he wants without verifying the sources.
According to Alexa, an Amazon ranking of Web traffic, the Drudge Report is the 86th most trafficked site in the United States and the seventh most popular site for news. Just by linking to a news story or blog item, Drudge can drive more than 100,000 unique visitors to a Web site. For small news organizations or independent bloggers, which sustain themselves on advertising revenue, a link on Drudge can mean money in the bank, upping the incentive for reporters to post opposition research.
Sometimes in the rush to make a splash, the truth can be lost along the way. Drudge's April headline "McCain Sings: 'Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran'" was a quote taken from Harper's Georgetown Times news story. But as the accompanying video showed, McCain never uttered those exact words. As the Associated Press correctly reported, he said the following, before declining to directly answer a question about whether he would attack Iran: "That old, eh, that old Beach Boys song, 'Bomb Iran.'" Then he sang, "Bomb Bomb Bomb Bomb, anyway, ah ..." And he trailed off.
It didn't matter, of course. The oppo had done its job. The world believed what the Drudge headline declared. It was just another day in the 2008 campaign.
Hearing these complaints coming from the media sounds more like a bout of jealousy.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

What I have learned about life!

I've learned-that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned-that no matter how much I care, some people are just buttholes.
I've learned-that it takes years to build up trust and a minute of suspicion to destroy it.
I've learned -that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have something worthwhile going on.
I've learned-that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more messed up than you think.
I've learned-you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
I've learned-that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.
I've learned-that money is a great substitute for character.
I've learned-that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do so.
I've learned-that your family won't always be there for you. Unless, of course, you win the lottery.
I've learned-that no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive.
I've learned-that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned-that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned-that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned-To say "Poop on it if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
Ok, now everybody go forth and share your wisdom!

Monday, May 14, 2007

New World Order

What is the New World Order?

The term New World Order (NWO) has been used by numerous politicians through the ages, and is a generic term used to refer to a worldwide conspiracy being orchestrated by an extremely powerful and influential group of genetically-related individuals (at least at the highest echelons) which include many of the world's wealthiest people, top political leaders, and corporate elite, as well as members of the so-called Black Nobility of Europe (dominated by the British Crown) whose goal is to create a One World (fascist) Government, stripped of nationalistic and regional boundaries, that is obedient to their agenda.
Listen to the Zionist* banker, Paul Warburg:
"We will have a world government whether you like it or not. The only question is whether that government will be achieved by conquest or consent." (February 17, 1950, as he testified before the US Senate).
Their intention is to effect complete and total control over every human being on the planet and to dramatically reduce the world's population by two thirds. While the name New World Order is the term most frequently used today to loosely refer to anyone involved in this conspiracy, the study of exactly who makes up this group is a complex and intricate one. In 1992, Dr John Coleman published Conspirators Hierarchy: The Story of the Committee of 300. With laudable scholarship and meticulous research, Dr Coleman identifies the players and carefully details the New World Order agenda of worldwide domination and control. On page 161 of the Conspirators Hierarchy, Dr Coleman accurately summarizes the intent and purpose of the Committee of 300 as follows:
"A One World Government and one-unit monetary system, under permanent non-elected hereditary oligarchists who self-select from among their numbers in the form of a feudal system as it was in the Middle Ages. In this One World entity, population will be limited by restrictions on the number of children per family, diseases, wars, famines, until 1 billion people who are useful to the ruling class, in areas which will be strictly and clearly defined, remain as the total world population.
There will be no middle class, only rulers and the servants. All laws will be uniform under a legal system of world courts practicing the same unified code of laws, backed up by a One World Government police force and a One World unified military to enforce laws in all former countries where no national boundaries shall exist. The system will be on the basis of a welfare state; those who are obedient and subservient to the One World Government will be rewarded with the means to live; those who are rebellious will simply be starved to death or be declared outlaws, thus a target for anyone who wishes to kill them. Privately owned firearms or weapons of any kind will be prohibited."
Why the Conspiracy is Unknown
The sheer magnitude and complex web of deceit surrounding the individuals and organizations involved in this conspiracy is mind boggling, even for the most astute among us. Most people react with disbelief and skepticism towards the topic, unaware that they have been conditioned (brainwashed) to react with skepticism by institutional and media influences. Author and de-programmer Fritz Springmeier (The Top 13 Illuminati Bloodlines) says that most people have built in "slides" that short circuit the mind's critical examination process when it comes to certain sensitive topics. "Slides", Springmeier reports, is a CIA term for a conditioned type of response which dead ends a person's thinking and terminates debate or examination of the topic at hand. For example, the mention of the word "conspiracy" often solicits a slide response with many people.
What most people believe to be "Public Opinion" is in reality carefully crafted and scripted propaganda designed to elicit a desired behavioral response from the public. Public opinion polls are really taken with the intent of gauging the public's acceptance of the New World Order's planned programs. A strong showing in the polls tells them that the programming is "taking", while a poor showing tells the NWO manipulators that they have to recast or "tweak" the programming until the desired response is achieved.
The NWO Modus Operandi
The NWO global conspirators manifest their agenda through the skilful manipulation of human emotions, especially fear. In the past centuries, they have repeatedly utilized a contrivance that NWO researcher and author David Icke has characterized in his latest book, The Biggest Secret, as Problem, Reaction, and Solution.
The technique is as follows: NWO strategists create the Problem - by funding , assembling, and training an "opposition" group to stimulate turmoil in an established political power (sovereign country, region, continent, etc.) that they wish to impinge upon and thus create opposing factions in a conflict that the NWO themselves maneuvered into existence. In recent decades, so called opposition groups are usually identified in the media as 'freedom fighters' or 'liberators'.
At the same time, the leader of the established political power where the conflict is being orchestrated is demonized and, on cue, referred to as 'another Hitler' (take your pick: Saddam Hussein, Milosevic, Kadaffi, etc.). The 'freedom fighters' are not infrequently assembled from a local criminal element (i.e. KLA, drug traffickers). In the spirit of true Machiavellian deceit, the same NWO strategists are equally involved in covertly arming and advising the leader of the established power as well (the NWO always profits from any armed conflict by loaning money, arming, and supplying all parties involved in a war).
The conflict is drawn to the world stage by the controlled media outlets with a barrage of photos and video tape reports of horrific and bloody atrocities suffered by innocent civilians. The cry goes up "Something has to be done!" And that is the desired Reaction.
The NWO puppeteers then provide the Solution by sending in UN 'Peace Keepers' (Bosnia) or a UN 'Coalition Force' (Gulf War) or NATO Bombers and then ground troops (Kosovo), or the military to 'search for Weapons of Mass Destruction', which of course are never found. Once installed, the 'peace keepers' never leave. The idea is to have NWO controlled ground troops in all major countries or strategic areas where significant resistance to the New World Order takeover is likely to be encountered.
Who is the NWO?
The corporate portion of the NWO is dominated by international bankers, oil barons and pharmaceutical cartels, as well as other major multinational corporations. The Royal Family of England, namely Queen Elizabeth II and the House of Windsor, (who are, in fact, descendants of the German arm of European Royalty - the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family - changed the name to Windsor in 1914), are high level players in the oligarchy which controls the upper strata of the NWO. The decision making nerve centers of this effort are in London (especially the City of London), Basel Switzerland, and Brussels (NATO headquarters).
The United Nations, along with all the agencies working under the UN umbrella, such as the World Health Organization (WHO), are full time players in this scheme. Similarly, NATO is a military tool of the NWO.
The leaders of all major industrial countries like the United States, England, Germany, Italy, Australia, New Zealand, etc. (members of the "G7/G8" ) are active and fully cooperative participants in this conspiracy. In this century, the degree of control exerted by the NWO has advanced to the point that only certain hand-picked individuals, who are groomed and selected are even eligible to become the prime minister or president of countries like England, Germany, or The United States. It didn't matter whether Bill Clinton or Bob Dole won the Presidency in 1996, the results would have been the same. Both men are playing on the same team for the same ball club. Anyone who isn't a team player is taken out: i.e. President Kennedy, Ali Bhutto (Pakistan) and Aldo Moro (Italy). More recently, Admiral Borda and William Colby were also killed because they were either unwilling to go along with the conspiracy to destroy America, weren't cooperating in some capacity, or were attempting to expose/ thwart the takeover agenda.

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Wednesday, May 09, 2007

100 dollar bill

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a 100 dollar bill. In the room of 200, he asked, "Who would like this 100 dollar bill?" Hands started going up. He said,"I am going to give this bill to one of you but first let me do this." He proceeded to crumple the bill up.He then asked, "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air. "Well,"he replied, "What if I do this?" And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now all crumpled and dirty."Now who still wants it?" Still the hands went into the air. "My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson.No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth 100 dollars-. Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value. You are special. Don't ever forget it! Never let yesterday's disappointments overshadow tomorrow's dreams.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Leonardo the Weeny dog

Subzero the kitten has a new buddy now-Leonardo the puppy. Someone had dumped him off and him and the kids hit it off right away. The kitty liked him too. Somehow the kids knew old grumpy couldn't say no when I saw how cute he was. The kids had been wanting a "hot dog". Kevin had asked for one earlier today. A guy pulled up in the drive and asked if I knew of anyone interested in a weeny dog-it was in the road and he was scared it would get run over. Think I'll hide from that guy next time I see him. haha
later gator

Monday, May 07, 2007

A Fart Guide For The Galaxy

Silent But Deadly (SBD) Fart
The type that remains totally inaudible, yet somehow causes all the occupants of a room to collapse. Can smell like anything
Eggy Fart
Smells very much like rotten eggs (or Hydrogen Sulphide). A powerful odor which tends to put people off lunch. Often rips out in the fashion of a Bunbuster.
Windy Fart
The sort of fart which goes 'Whoosh', and is more felt than heard. A little like an SBD, but louder and considerably less toxic.
Growling Fart
Happens deep within the rectum (and therefore has no smell). Somehow never meets the light of day. Tends to growl like a dog at the vets.
Worrying Fart
The kind which seems to be a fart right up to the point at which you release it. At this stage matters become less sure, as it feels too solid for comfort. You go to the bathroom and check your underpants at the next possible opportunity.
Prelude To A Poopie
You feel like you have got a large beefy one, but out comes a tiny squeaker fart, and the head of something massive. You tense your buttocks fast, lest you give birth to the brown equivalent of a zeppelin.
Compost Fart
You know the compost heap that a gardener keeps at the bottom of the garden? Well if you jump on it you will have some idea of what a compost fart sounds and smells like. Do not attempt this one while you have company.
Beefy One
Sounds loud, and butch eg. 'BRAAAAMMPPP!'. Will smell a bit like the rotting offspring of a B.S.E infected cow and a dog turd.
Present (a.k.a 'Time I Wasn't Here' Fart)The type of fart which seems harmless, but then brings a small poopie as a housewarming gift. You shuffle off to the toilet, and thank God you weren't in a business meeting when it happened. If you were in a business meeting of course, you're in trouble.
Squeaky Fart
Sounds like 'Wheeek'. Normally smells foul.
Bunbuster Fart
'BRAAA!' Sounds like a Beefy one, except much more sudden and much much more powerful. Generally smells eggy or beefy. Leaves your bum smarting. You really feel these babies.
Trouser Ripping Special
Sends seismic ripples to the next city. Rips the back of your pants. This fart genuinely hurts, and you can still feel it 20 minutes later. Anyone sitting nearby at the time will suffer hearing loss.
Escape Pod Fart
You think you got away with this one. You forced it out as silently as possible, and nobody heard. You take deep sniffs through your nose, as discreetly as possible. You smell nothing but your deodorant. Then 30 seconds later, as if released from a stasis field, everyone starts to cough and splutter. You point to the person next to you and try to look innocent.
Stalker Fart
Occurs when you leave the room to politely fart elsewhere, and save people the trouble of breathing your flatulent devils breath. You go back into the room, but LO! The foul nasal bombardment has followed you, and you are duly criticised for poor manners.
On The Spot Fart
You didn't even know it was there, but suddenly 'Brrmp'.
Not Now!
You feel the presence of a mighty fart, and are unable to release it due to your situation. Happens on first dates, at important meetings, and on other such inexcusable occasions. You clench your buttocks together so hard that you nearly give yourself a stroke, and wait for the pressure to subside. Success depends on a number of factors, but Sods law tends to win out in the end.
Hydrated Flatulation
(a.k.a Wet Fart)The original wet fart, which leaves a mark on your pants, and gives you a cold wet sticky sensation when you walk. You might not like this little bugger, but you feel right at home with it.
GNL Fart
Gambled 'n' lost. You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but realize tragically that this is much more than a fart...

Sunday, May 06, 2007

My thoughts and prayers

You all are always in my thoughts and my prayers!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Short and funny

I dialed a number and got the following recording: "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, You are one of the changes."
~~~~~Aspire to inspire before you expire.
~~~~~My ex wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine.
~~~~~Frustration is trying to find your glasses...without your glasses.
~~~~~Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. ~~~~~ The irony of life is that by the time you're old enough to know your way around , you're not going anywhere.
~~~~~God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question.
~~~~~ I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.
~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Something to ponder on

There's no reason to be all grown-up if you can't act childish sometimes!
You don't stop laughing because you grow old-
You grow old when you stop laughing!
Strive to be excellent, not perfect, because
perfection is Gods business.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

You reap what you sow

Dear God:
Why didn't you save the school children at ?. ..Moses Lake , Washington 2/2/96 Bethel , Alaska 2/19/97Pearl , Mississippi 10/1/97West Paducah , Kentucky 12/1/97Stamp, Arkansas 12/15/97Jonesboro , Arkansas 3/24/98Edinboro , Pennsylvania 4/24/98Fayetteville , Tennessee 5/19/98 Springfield , Oregon 5/21/98Richmond , Virginia 6/15/98Littleton , Colorado 4/20/99Taber , Alberta , Canada 5/28/99Conyers , Georgia 5/20/99Deming , New Mexico 11/19/99Fort Gibson , Oklahoma 12/6/99Santee , California 3/ 5/01 El Cajon , California 3/22/01 and
Blacksburg, VA 4/16/07 ?
Sincerely,Concerned Student

Reply:Dear Concerned Student: Sorry,I am not allowed in schools.
Sincerely, God----------------------------------------------------------
How did this get started?...-----------------
Let's see,I think it started when Madeline Murray O'Hare complained She didn't want any prayer in our schools. And we said, OK.
Then, someone said you better not:
Read the Bible in school; the Bible that says "thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, And love your neighbors as yourself," And we said, OK...
Dr. Benjamin Spock said We shouldn't spank our children When they misbehaved Because their little personalities Would be warped and we might damage their self-esteem. And we said, An expert should know what he's talking about So we won't spank them anymore..
-Then someone said Teachers and principals better not Discipline our children when they misbehave. And the school administrators said No faculty member in this school Better touch a student when they misbehave Because we don't want any bad publicity, And we surely don't want to be sued. And we accepted their reasoning...
Then someone said, let's let our daughters have abortions if they want, And they won't even have to tell their parents. And we said, that's a grand idea.
Then some wise school board member said, Since boys will be boys And they're going to do it anyway,let's give our sons all the condoms they want, So they can have all the fun they desire, And we won't have to tell their parents they got them at school. And we said, that's another great idea...
Then some of our top elected officials said It doesn't matter what we do in private as long as we do our jobs.And we said,It doesn't matter what anybody, including the President,Does in private as long as we have jobs and the economy is good....
And someone else took that appreciation a step furtherAnd published pictures of nude children And then stepped further still by Making them available on the Internet.And we said, everyone's entitled to free speech....
And the entertainment industry said,let's make TV shows and movies that promote Profanity, violence and illicit sex...And let's record music that encourages Rape, drugs, murder, suicide, and satanic themes...And we said,it's just entertainment And it has no adverse effect And nobody takes it seriously anyway,So go right ahead
.Now we're asking ourselves Why our children have no conscience, Why they don't know right from wrong,And why it doesn't bother them to Kill strangers, classmates or even themselves. ------------------Undoubtedly, If we thought about it long and hard enough,We could figure it out. I'm sure it has a great deal to do with...

Funny quotes

Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
Until I was 13, I thought I was named ‘Shut Up’.
I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.
The road to success is always under construction.
I say no to drugs – they just don’t listen.
Work is fine if it doesn’t take up too much of your time.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
Born free; Taxed to death.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don’t have film.
Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
Smile – it makes people wonder what you are up to.
I love being a writer. What I can’t understand is the paperwork.
The hardest part of skating is the ice.
The trouble with being punctual is that there’s no one there to appreciate it.
If our constitution allows free speech, why are there phone bills?
If you tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, he’ll believe you. But if you tell him a park bench has just been painted, he has to touch it to be sure.
Beat the 5 O’ clock rush: leave work at noon!
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end!
I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
When I was born, I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.