What I have learned about life!

I've learned-that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned-that no matter how much I care, some people are just buttholes.
I've learned-that it takes years to build up trust and a minute of suspicion to destroy it.
I've learned -that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have something worthwhile going on.
I've learned-that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more messed up than you think.
I've learned-you should always leave loved ones with loving words. You may need to borrow money.
I've learned-that either you control your attitude or you will be offered medication.
I've learned-that money is a great substitute for character.
I've learned-that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do so.
I've learned-that your family won't always be there for you. Unless, of course, you win the lottery.
I've learned-that no matter how badly your heart is broken, therapy is still expensive.
I've learned-that we don't have to ditch bad friends because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned-that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get arrested and end up in the local paper.
I've learned-that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon. And all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned-To say "Poop on it if they can't take a joke" in 6 languages.
Ok, now everybody go forth and share your wisdom!