Virus Warning

Viruses WARNING . . . Watch out for these new viruses - Neither Symantec or McAfee have any solutions for these yet!!!
The Al Gore Virus - Causes your computer to just keep counting and re-counting
The Clinton Virus - Gives you a 7-inch Hard Drive with NO memory
The Bob Dole (aka Viagra) Virus - Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy
The Lewinsky Virus - Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about what it did
The Ronald Reagan Virus - Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored
The Mike Tyson Virus - Quits after two bytes
The Oprah Winfrey Virus - Your 300 Mb hard drive shrinks to 100 Mb, then slowly expands to re-stabilize around 200 Mb
The Jack Kevorkian Virus - Deletes all old files
The Ellen Degeneres Virus - Disks can no longer be inserted
The Prozac Virus - Totally screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care
The Joey Buttafuoco Virus - Only attacks minor files
The Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Terminates some files, leaves, but will be back
AND THE FAVORITE
The Lorena Bobbitt Virus - Reformats your hard drive into a 3.5 inch floppy . . then discards it through Windows